It has been one of those days. I have to tell myself we all have them, just in order to console myself after the day I am about to relay to you, and then hopefully I will never have to think about again!
Richard is out of town!! That may not seem like a very big statement to most people, but to me it means choas, and impending doom. For those wives and mothers like myself, who admittedly lean heavily on the help of their husbands to keep it all in the road, you may get something out of my story, or at least a laugh at my expense. You see, history has taught me, anything that could go wrong, will go wrong, while my Richard is out of town.
It all started very innocently on the way home from school today, with Aden's very reasonable request to stop and buy food for his snakes. They hadn't been feed in two weeks, and it was more than time for their next meal. I conceeded to stop and buy food for the snakes even though I have vowed to never be part of the carnage that is feeding our snakes. The snakes food has a heartbeat.
Not wanting my son's beloved snakes to die on my watch, I stopped at not one, or two, but three pet shops on the way home from school, allowing Aden to go in and ask for mice. Finally, he was victorious. He instinctively knew to climb into the back seat, to not allow me to see the mice, as I cannot handle the entire concept of feeding live animals to others. There was no lid on the box, so the entire way home I had to listen to Aron talking the mice down from the sides of the open box. The entire way my skin tingled with the fear of them escaping and crawling under my seat and on to my feet. I HATE MICE, but I don't want to murder them either.
Whew, we finally made it home, and I hear Aden scream from upstairs, "THE SNAKES ARE GONE!" What? How could that be? Well, I wasn't going to look for them, but I don't exactly want them loose in my house. I don't do snakes either, and RICHARD IS OUT OF TOWN!!
The dwarf rabbit, Lucky, roams our home happily. I found him immediately, knowing there were two of his predators on the prowl and took him into my bedroom, where Alex immediately followed to asked why I had called him. He shut my door tightly to ensure HIS bunny did not get eaten by his brother's reptiles. After we settled the bunny in my bathroom, Alex and I tried to leave my bedroom. The door would not open. We were locked in. WE were stuck in. The archaic door handle had broken and Alex and I were trapped. I had put dinner in the oven and could smell it cooking. Then, I could smell it burning.
Credit cards, knives, bobby pins, nothing would open the door. Aron and Abe's anxiety of their mother being trapped, in time turned into the realization they were completely and utterly FREE. Dad was OUT OF TOWN, and mom was locked upstairs in her bedroom. They seized their moment, climbed the fence, and encouraged our bullmastiff, Lucy to do so as well. Alex and I were helpless.
I began to worry more about dinner in the oven. I could not get ahold of Richard. Alex started devising idiotic plans to jump from the second story balcony. I tried to talk Aden through turning the oven off, which was not an easy task. Finally, after about an hour and a half I got ahold of Richard in Joburg, he called a friend and within the next 30 minutes our sweet friend Derek Herbert had resqued Alex and I.
Now, where were those snakes? Alex eventually found the snakes in Aden's closet. PROBLEM: in their freedom the snakes must have hunted, because they were not going to eat these mice, and then I had two new pets for the weekend instead of two well fed snakes! What was I going to do with these mice? We could not just put them in with snakes because it could cause the snakes to attack eachother. SO, we made a little habitat for our weekend residents.
Two hours later while I was getting ready for bed I heard squeels from downstairs, one of the mice was running around. In fact, both mice are still loose in my house and RICHARD IS OUT OF TOWN.
I GAVE UP.
It is now 9:20 p.m. and I can live without going downstairs again today, or perhaps ever. I managed to get my boys in bed by yelling commands from the second floor. The snakes are in their terarrium, the bunny is in his cage, the bullmastiff is back inside our fence and I ...